I haven’t posted on here for ages … and there’s been good reason.
I climbed Mount Everest in world record time wearing only my son’s junior school PE kit. Actually, that’s not true.
I inherited the throne of Matabeleland and had to go over there for the coronation and got stuck in traffic behind an elephant. That’s not true, either.
I’ve actually been writing. I took a monumentally long time to write my latest manuscript, which is called The King of Bling. I finished the first draft and added some more jokes. Then I ..
Did the second draft and added more jokes.
Did the third draft and added more jokes.
Did the fourth draft and got rid of the rubbish stuff.
Did a fifth draft, added some more jokes and sent it to my agent.
She sent it back and said, ‘add more jokes.’
So I added some more jokes. There are 97 pages and 214 funny bits/jokes. This might be a world record.
So now I’m waiting for someone to say if they want to publish it. If not, I’m going to stop trying to be funny. So there.